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Dear Journal Nov 2nd 2023


I haven't written nor streamed in a while -it has been an unenjoyable, miserable past month.

That burn on my hand from the boiling water blistered after and took a very long time to heal. As it turned out, it was a second degree burn.

Then just as it was healing up and no longer red/peeling/hurting, I ended up with an eye infection -it was just as painful in it's own way. It kind of felt like a combination bacterial infection sunburn on my left eye. It took so long to heal, and it HURT so much. A week after it started I could hardly keep my right eye open with it, and had to keep the eye bandaged all day. It oozed, and watered, yet felt dry/gritty/sticky all at the same time. I kept the lights dimmed to help with the hurt, and spent far too much time with both eyes closed.

I had a Dr appt about a week in. It was supposed to be a video appointment, but they did not send me the link...though they said they did and I spent all day trying to get the administrator to (re?)send it to me. it wasn't in my junk folder, nor at another email- it was nowhere to be found, though I did get the responding messages she sent me throughout the day. Eventually the doctor just called and spoke to me and I started a prescription eye drop with stronger antibiotics than the one I had bought OTC. I'd just had four days off due to a mini vacation and regularly scheduled days off, and then had to call in sick for the next three days. Luckily I had a bigger vacation scheduled for the following weekend/ it turned out I needed it for health reasons.

What a waste of a vacation though- I hardly got anything done. :(

This has been the worst October I can remember. I wont get into the other reasons why. Lets just say it is unusual, unbelievable, and should probably never be written about.

On the plus side, I did find a nice new sweater that I bought in three different colors. I also bought a bookshelf and a storage bench that make the livingroom feel more livingroomey. Next up? Couch, table, chairs. That part is going to take longer though. Hopefully the next couch lasts longer. This one has not fared well at all, and I just bought it in 2018.

I noticed also that I had been gaining weight disproportionately, so I have started logging calories to keep an eye on it. The weight is going back down, slowly and safely.

Now if only my eyes would continue to improve...both are very dry and it feels like I have been staring at the sun for too long. Then yesterday i noticed that the thing that started my left eye infection seemed to be coming back. I am not sure how to get my eyes back into healthy shape...they are never in the sun- I live in a basement apartment with poor lighting. Lately when I wake up I am finding that my left eye is hard to open. I have re-started the eye drops and I am covering my eyes when I sleep. Maybe that will help.

It seems like every time I conquer one health issue(or potential one) another starts. It almost feels like I am being trolled, lol.

I am keeping a close eye on my health. (no pun intended, but I wont tell anyone if you laughed, lol)

I gave up coffee because even small amounts seemed to be jacking up my heart rate/blood pressure. It was SO STRANGE! It was disproportionate, and very non-caffeine like(it felt like strong stimulant). If I am reacting to coffee/tea so strongly, I know it is time to give it up(I had already given up energy drinks years ago). I have not had a caffeinated beverage since tea/coffee started causing those issues. I haven't had an alcoholic beverage in I don't know how long - maybe about two years? I don't do drugs at all (well, I do have the rare ibuprofin or benedryl/gravol. (should I count the antibiotic eye drops? lol. I don't take any recreationally). And now I am eating healthy and controlling calorie/fat/sugar/salt intake. Go me!

I have been playing WoW recently, and now have two toons at max level in the latest expansion, Dragonflight. (so far I have leveled my main, an ele shammy, and my gatherer, a feral druid night elf)

I made a full turkey dinner for thanksgiving, so that was nice. I made and froze soup from the left overs. I had some of the soup for lunch today.

I dressed up as a pirate for Halloween this year, it felt a little pointless, but still a nice way to mark the day. I already had the eyepatch, thanks to the eye infection, lol. I bought too many treats, as usual, but my roommate took care of most of those, so at least they did not go to waste. This year we actually had some trick or treaters- for the first time in over eight years. There are still some treats left over, but that's OK.

Next up? Christmas prep. I go back to work on Monday. That should keep me fairly busy until Christmas rolls around. I've already bought a gift for the dog. Fingers crossed I can hold off from giving it to him until Christmas day. I taught him to open gifts when he was a puppy, and seeing how happy he is to open them is by far the best part of Christmas.


Post pandemic life is so strange. They might be calling it the new normal but it doesn't feel normal - people seem so distant from each other now. The sense of community is diminished and in some instances, gone. I just want to go back to what life was like "before". I want life to feel normal again. When people were social.

(I believe that we can successfully be careful, health conscious, and social.)

I'd spent years pre-pandemic self isolating due to severe asthma and odd scent sensitivities. I'd looked forward to being able to be social again for years before everyone else started self isolating due to Covid-19. Then, BAM, I was healthy again but the whole world had changed around me. (thank you, medical community - I am grateful to be able to breath. It is unfortunate that it could not have happened "before")

I don't see any reason why I can't regain my life, as it was "before". (I'm talking more than eight or nine years ago). I feel like I am stuck inside, and I need to get out to really live.

The post pandemic lack of community/social-life feeling might be a common complaint, but still a valid one to voice....remember, your opinions are valid, even if some people don't like to hear them. Voicing these feelings is a healthy way to deal with them, to get through or over them, provided you don't wallow in them too much or for too long.

My circumstances are a little more than the pandemic-caused ones of other people, so of course the parallel is not perfect.

Until next time, I am off to Azeroth....and perhaps Final Fantasy for a little while(they have a fall guys thing going right now that I wanted to try).

Take care, be kind,


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